…except for Stormer, who was a bit of a wuss

Thanks Netflix. Thanks to your streaming selection that resembles the non-new release section of a ’90s Blockbuster, “Jem” is now available for late-night guilty pleasure viewing.

That being said, I have come to the conclusion that the Misfits are the better band.

Hear me out.

Anyone who has ever seen “Jem” knows that much of the show’s conflict derives from the clash between the two bands. In terms of great musical feuds, the Misfits vs. the Holograms rivalry was up there with the real-world brawls of Neil Young vs. Lynyrd Skynyrd, or Flaming Lips vs. the Arcade Fire. But unlike their real-world counterparts, they spend a majority of their time singing about their next move rather than bad-mouthing each other to the press. And this where the Holograms fail miserably.

While Jem and her rag-tag team of goody two-shoes spend their time singing songs about the importance of believing in yourself, finding true love and inner beauty, all of the Misfits songs are about fucking up Jem.

That’s pretty punk rock.

And honestly, what would you rather do: Help Jerrica put on a fundraiser for orphans, or trash a mall with Pizzazz on minibikes?